Condolences to Brenda Arnold and her family. Jack Arnold ,her father in law passed away in Melbourne..and was buried on Monday.

Happy 30th birthday to Kylie Archibald. Hope you enjoyed the surprise party Sheridan organised in Bendigo.

Last week Robyn Vella and her mother Marg Collins were involved in an accident on the freeway when a trailor jack knifed in front of them The same day, Jarrod Ritchie and his boss were involved in a head on collision. Fortunately in both cases no one was seriously injured.

The Lions club had their change over dinner on Friday night. David Lockhart took over the reins as president.

The Warts and all play was fantastic. There was a bumper crowd on Saturday night to appreciate it.

Since I have been writing "Out the Window" I have received a few death threats (from Stirrer Hargreaves and a few dozen others) but an amazing amount of fan mail and letters requiring me to tap into my vast wealth of knowledge and experience. I treat mail with the utmost confidentiality but feel I should share some of it with you.

Dear Pearl of wisdom,

I know you are a keen conservationist and so am I. Are there any local species facing extinction?

Tim Lockhart

Dear Tim
Yes. Farmers. Farmer numbers are declining rapidly. The national average age of a farmer is around 65 but we are lucky enough to have a few breeding pairs left in this area Farmers main predator is the educated ding bat ( an introduced species). The educated ding bat has bred up rapidly in its urban habitat and having devastating effects on the farmer species The most dangerous of the educated ding bats are the A.B.A.R.E. species,who are urging farmers to plant double when:-

1. It hasn’t rained
2. The price of spray and fertiser has tripled
3. We have signed a free trade agreement with America, but they continue to subsidize their farmers and steal our markets

If we have another dry year, farmers may face extinction

Regards,

Aunty Pearl

Dear Aunty Pearl

I am very depressed.

Kane Toad

Dear Kane

So am I. Pete Cundall has had a blooming nuff and done his last gardening show. Think of all the tripe on T.V and not ONE gardening show. Take up mosaicing, you will feel better after smashing things.

PS Just because I signed off "Aunty" on Tim Lockharts letter, don’t feel you can call me Aunty. I don’t ever remember marrying a Toad so Im not your aunty.

Dear Pearl of wisdom of Wedderburn

Will it ever rain again?

Chris Holt

I must make it clear to you, I am not a clairvoyant. I deal in earthy facts, not that clairvoyant gobbledy gook. Some clairvoyant ding bat from the meteorological department said we will have a wet spring. Beware this is just a trick to make you plant extra.

Pearl of Wizdom

Pearl

I resent you telling the world about me painting my nails. If I didn’t know that you are as poor as a church mouse I would consider a court action. I should come in and put you out of your misery (and therefore your readers as well)

Stirrer Hargreaves

Stirrer you are sounding like Al Kyder from Kurraca. I try to report news of interest and believe me you have become a subject of interest

PS Did Shirl enjoy her trip to Darwin?

Pearl of Wisdom